Is it insecure for children not to play by themselves? Not necessarily.
Although it is not ruled out that some parents spend less time with their children, and the quality is low, which causes the children to be extremely clingy. But there is really no need to over-exaggerate the "sense of security".
On the contrary, it may be that the children are given enough sense of security at ordinary times, so they can be sure: "I cry and make a lot of noise, and my mother will meet my requirements."
Most children who don't know how to play on their own are not lack of security, but lack of experience and habits.
When it comes to letting their children play by themselves, many parents are basically in this cycle:
Put the child on the play mat-take out some toys and say to the child in a negotiating tone,-"You play here for a while, mom will cook"-the child starts to cry and roar-the parents continue to discuss ——Children are becoming more reluctant——Parents compromise and stay with their children.
But we have forgotten that, in fact, letting children play independently also needs to be nurtured, not overnight.
Children who have always received attention and have never had the opportunity to experience being alone, naturally can't get used to such a request.
How to let children play with toys independently
The first step: do not interfere with hand and mouth, both body and mind are present
At the beginning, you can choose a child's favorite toy, sit a little farther away from the child, and watch him play.
Be careful not to intervene at this time, and don't point fingers at him in the process of playing. Doing so will interrupt the child's concentration.
We just need to sit at a certain distance from the child and watch him play quietly or sit and read a book.
When we intentionally or unintentionally turn on this interactive mode, children will slowly get used to our slow withdrawal.
Step 2: The body is not, the heart is
When we discover that children can play with toys independently for a period of time, we can try to do activities with the children in two different spaces.
For example, if you hang clothes on the balcony, the child plays with toys in the living room, and he will call you when he thinks of it after a while.
At this time, even though you are doing your own thing, you should respond immediately when he calls you, letting him know that even if you do another thing, your heart will be with him.
Then don't go over immediately after responding, tell him that you will go there immediately after you are busy, and you can go there after a few minutes of buffering.
This step will be different due to the different personality of the child, so you can control it yourself according to your own child's situation. Of course, the clinging child will take longer to adapt, and parents need to pay a certain amount of patience.
Step 3: Choose some open toys
There are many toys that have light and sound on the market. In fact, they are not suitable for solo toys, because many will set up levels. Children who are too simple will lose interest quickly, and if they are too difficult, they will feel frustrated.
And like those open toys that have no fixed answers, they are more suitable for children to figure out for themselves, such as kneading plasticine, playing Lego, etc.