Have heard such a sentence:
Most love in the world is for the purpose of gathering, but there is one kind of love that is for separation, and that is the love of parents for their children.
When children are young, parents need to use wise education to allow children to grow up healthily;
When the child grows up, parents need to let go in time to give the child a broader sky.
Being a parent is a practice of mind and wisdom.
When children are young, parents are role models full of wisdom.
Many people say that a child is just a blank piece of paper, and the child is just what the parent draws.
Deeply agree.
Parents are the children's first teachers, and every word and deed will affect the child in a subtle way.
When children are young, parents are role models full of wisdom in their eyes. And the best education parents give their children is to teach by precept and deeds.
In the ITTF Star Awards Ceremony last year, Liu Shiwen, who won the "Female Athlete of the Year", grew up in such an environment since she was a child.
Liu Shiwen's mother, Wang Lifeng, is also a table tennis enthusiast. Her biggest dream is to become an excellent table tennis player and stand on the world arena to win glory for the country.
It is a pity that Wang Lifeng does not have such a talent. After a lot of hard work, I finally failed to realize my dream.
The birth of Liu Shiwen gave her new hope. Her persistence has set a good example for her children.
Despite busy work and trivial housework, Wang Lifeng still persists in his hobby and habit of playing table tennis. The most common scene when Liu Shiwen was a child was the appearance of her mother standing in front of the table and sweating like rain.
Mother's love for table tennis left a deep impression on the young Liu Shiwen, and also stimulated her curiosity and desire to imitate.
She began to make gestures to imitate her mother's movements, and she became excited when she saw the table tennis. As a mother, Wang Lifeng also spared no effort to nurture her daughter.
She not only made a small racket specifically for her, but also taught her how to play. No matter how hard the work is, I will accompany my daughter to practice ball after get off work.
While educating the children, Wang Lifeng herself also enjoys it. And Liu Shiwen has been infected by her mother's enthusiasm and perseverance.
In this way, when Liu Liwen was less than 5 years old, she was already able to play well. When she was 7 years old, she was already taken by a famous teacher and trained as a champion seedling.
And now, it has become the first "Five Champions" in the Women's Table Tennis World Cup. This is an achievement that Zhang Yining, Wang Nan, and Ding Ning have never achieved.
Everything happens as stated in "The Analects": "If your body is upright, you do not order; if your body is not upright, you cannot order it."
The best education is to be able to shape the character of the child in a subtle way, instead of admonishing the child from time to time and interfering in the child's affairs.
Truly wise parents will only do everything well, set a good example for their children, and truly teach by precept and deeds.
When the child grows up, parents need to learn to withdraw gracefully.
I believe many parents understand the principles of precepts and deeds when children are young. But when their children grow up, there are very few parents who can really let go.
A netizen on Zhihu shared his experience.
She said that her parents had set rules for her since she was a child, such as "you must go home before dark" and "cannot take a dangerous taxi"...So, since she was a child, she has almost never gone out to play with friends. .
Her parents also believed that the girl "cannot get into the smoke", so she never washed a piece of clothing or a bowl until college, and she didn't even enter the kitchen.
During the high school vacation, when her classmates went to travel and part-time jobs to earn extra money, she could only stay at home to study and read books.
In college, when classmates went to support teaching and internship during the holidays, she could only go home and be a good girl in the arms of her parents.
If the parents are reluctant to let go, the child will not learn to grow up.
So far, her self-care ability, mobility, etc. are far behind her peers.
Looking back on the experience of the past few decades, this netizen said painfully:
"I always thought that I had grown up, but I didn't. The opportunity I could have grown up was taken away by my parents."
In a word, Tao is heartbroken.
Growth is a child’s part, and there is a separation between parents and children that will eventually drift away.
Only by giving the child a sense of security, caring for her, supporting her, and encouraging her, can the child have enough confidence to fly freely and fear hardship.
When children need a broader sky, what parents should do is to give them enough freedom to learn to withdraw in a timely manner.
Being a parent is a practice of mind and wisdom.
Zhao Jie, a talented woman from Peking University, once wrote this passage:
"I admire a kind of parent who gives strong intimacy when the child is young, and learns to withdraw gracefully when the child grows up.
The parent-child relationship is not a permanent possession, but a deep fate in life. We can neither make children feel barren in childhood, nor suffocate them in adulthood.
Care and separation are both tasks that parents must complete on their children. "
The greatest pride of being a parent is that when one day your children grow up, you can see the education you give him and let him live as a person of good quality. Whether you are here or not, he can live calmly and calmly, behave upright, and pass on his good character from generation to generation.
Do not seek perfection for children, do not have to fight for the face of parents, let alone support parents for the aged. As long as this life is healthy, walking in this beautiful world will give parents a chance to walk with him for a while.
As long as he is healthy and happy, his parents' greatest satisfaction.
Parents' letting go does not push their children farther and farther. On the contrary, when people are far away, the hearts of the family are getting closer.
Parenting is a practice of mind and wisdom.
Not just being a parent, but also in many moments of life, you should know how to advance and retreat.