Children like to listen to praise and dislike criticism, and French parents and teachers generally believe that those children who had difficulty accepting criticism when they were children, when they grow up, most of them will "respect and stay away from criticism", or simply "turn away", etc. Negative attitude. As a result, they further believe that learning to accept criticism from an early age has a positive meaning in shaping a person's complete personality or contributing to the success of his career.
Under the advice of some children's education experts, French parents often adopt the following methods:
Teach children not to make a fuss about the criticism of others
Parents of course should insist on giving praise to their children when educating their children, but they may wish to consciously let them hear both the "positive" affirmation and the "negative" criticism when the child is babbling or learning to walk. Criticism at this time must be gentle, analytical, and with more praise as the "premise." For example, "The baby (learned) said'drink water' very clearly, but the mother (learned) said'eat' can't understand it-come and practice with mom a few more times"; "The baby learned to walk yesterday and is not afraid of getting tired at all. Why are you afraid of getting tired today?" Such a conscious "introduction" of criticism can help children who have not yet set foot in society to realize that criticism and praise are equally common! In fact, children who can adapt to criticism in their early childhood tend to be more adaptable to society when they grow up, including having a "peace" mentality of correctly dealing with criticism and even criticism from others, and a strong ability to withstand setbacks.
Ask the child to listen carefully
No matter how sharp and unpleasant the criticism, children should be required to listen carefully. Because only by listening carefully will you find that there may be some truth in it, and you can accept it humbly. At the same time, children should gradually understand that listening carefully to others’ criticism is not only a manifestation of civilization, but also a necessity for self-improvement.
Ask the child to deal with it calmly
Don't sneer at critics, don't "defense yourself", don't exaggerate extensions, etc. On the contrary, you should calmly analyze as many reasonable ingredients as possible on the basis of careful listening.
Don't be silent
To deal with it calmly does not mean being silent about criticism. Parents should educate their children to accept the reasonable elements of criticism humbly, and even list ways or measures for improvement.
Allow the child to explain
If the criticism does not conform to the facts, then the child should be allowed to explain, because letting the child falsely express acceptance of the criticism but feel aggrieved in his heart is not only useless, but may also cause various psychological abuses. But at the same time, let the children understand that the purpose of the explanation is not to shirk the responsibilities that should be borne, and the explanation must be calm and pragmatic.
Ask children to treat critics equally
Many children can listen carefully and accept criticism from their teachers humbly, but they reject criticism from their peers. At this time, the children should be taught: as long as the criticism is reasonable, even if the criticism comes from a small partner, it should be accepted with an humility.
Advise the child to thank
Regardless of those who have made good faith criticisms, you can advise your children to give a sincere gratitude-this will not only express your humility and sincerity, but also speed up the bridging of differences between the two sides.
Let the children compare
After the child accepts criticism and makes improvements, let him make a before-and-after comparison-smart children will understand that it is beneficial to accept criticism.
And let children learn to criticize
By accepting criticism, children learn to know the main points of "how to make criticism to make the other party accept it with an open mind." May wish to help him summarize: make a good investigation and analysis before criticizing, the tone should be tactful, the words should be civilized and appropriate, the attitude should not be extreme, and the other party should be allowed to argue...
In fact, as long as children learn to "be kind to" criticism, criticism can be like praise and become a spring breeze to encourage children to move forward.