Successful tutoring is closely related to the verbal expression of parents, especially the tone of speech, which will have a profound impact on children's emotional intelligence and self-cultivation.
The President of Peking University, Mr. Cai Yuanpei, said in the book "Chinese Cultivation":
It is not academic performance that determines a child's life, but a sound personality! What should be the correct family education?
It is that parents should help their children build a good life platform, so that their children have a good personality, know how to behave, and understand the true meaning of success.
Only when the parents' educational concept has changed, can our children receive a good family education and benefit for life.
Successful tutoring comes from the various ways of getting along between parents and children, and the tone of speech will affect the child's life.
Tone of trust
Children especially want the trust of adults, especially their parents, so they must show full trust when speaking to them. For example, if the child wants to learn to play badminton, you say in a trusting tone:
"Children, as long as they study hard and study hard, they will definitely learn to play."
This invisibly gave the child a self-confidence and made him understand that only persistence can achieve success. If you use a sarcastic tone:
"You want to play with your enthusiasm for three minutes?"
It will hurt the child's self-esteem and make him feel unconfident in his own abilities.
Respectful tone
Children’s self-awareness begins to sprout from the age of two or three, and this self-awareness will become stronger with age.
The child has some opinions of his own, which shows that the child knows his own strength and ability. When he puts forward his own different opinions and requirements, don't think that he is not listening to you, working against you, and violently opposing him.
If you ask your child to study, but he wants to play with his friends again, you can’t lose your temper:
"The bigger you are, the less obedient you will be. If you don't study hard, it depends on what you can do when you grow up."
Doing so will only make children hate learning even more. It should be in a respectful tone:
"Then you will play for a while, but when you are done, you must do your homework."
The child is happy to accept it.
Negotiating tone
Every child has self-esteem. To ask your child to do something, you can use a negotiable tone to let him understand that he is equal to you and you respect him.
For example, if you want your child to tidy up the toys littered on the floor, you can say something like this:
"Baby, it's a bad habit to throw toys away. Will you tidy up the toys with your mother?"
Never use a commanding tone:
"What did you do, the toys are littered, hurry up and pack them!"
Otherwise, if the child listens to your blame, he will feel resentful in his heart, and even if he does according to your requirements, he will be unhappy.
Compliment
Every child has advantages and desires to express. Discovering and admiring the advantages of a child will make him more willing to express.
The child drew a picture, maybe not very well, but the enthusiasm and seriousness of the child's painting is the biggest advantage. When the child shows you the painting, you can't deal with it lightly:
"Draw mediocre, practice well."
This will make children lose enthusiasm and confidence in painting. His work should be affirmed with admiration:
"Unexpectedly, my baby painted so well. If you keep working hard, you will definitely paint better."
The child's desire to express is satisfied, and with happy emotional experience, he will be more interested in painting.
Encouraging tone
It is impossible for children to do no fault. When a child has done something wrong, don't just criticize and blame, but help him sum up lessons from his mistakes, accumulate experience, and encourage him to succeed again. For example, the first time the child helped her mother carry the rice bowl, he fell to the ground and broke.
You cannot blame him:
"It's so stupid that I can't even hold a bowl."
This will undermine the child's confidence and courage to try new things. The tone of encouragement should be used:
"It doesn't matter if you accidentally smashed the bowl. In the future, try to burn it with your fingers before serving it."
In this way, it not only teaches practical methods, but also gives children the confidence to try again.
Parents need to provide a tolerant environment for their children to grow up. However, no matter how much money you have, if a baby from another family is born and crawls, your baby will not run after birth.
In the face of life growth, money is meaningless, and the responsibility and wisdom of parents are everything.
As long as we have the heart and use our brains, we will definitely find the happiest, most interesting and optimized interactive games with the world, with the future, and with children. And all these efforts will allow us to harvest a high-quality life.
Children's emotional intelligence depends on the words and deeds of their parents. It has always been an arduous task to cultivate a child who knows how to care and respect others and who is honest and honest.
But all of us can do this, and there is no job that is more important and brings greater rewards than this.